Thanksgiving Troubles Pt 4

“Here, turkey, turkey, turkey,” Nic called as he made animal noises.

“You sound mental,” Sonny insulted.

“You don’t know anything about hunting do you?” Nic replied.

Breaking some sticks out of boredom, Shane said, “Well, you’re both not wrong. You should use a call, but Nic you do sound ridiculous.”

“It’s not my fault we have every other bird call than a turkey,” Nic defended. “For a mansion owned by billionaires, you think they would have a stock of turkey calls.”

“That’s not what I would be worried about,” Sonny muttered.

The three guys roamed the woods for hours, but still found nothing. They were tired, hungry, and the storm was quickly approaching.

Taking a rest, Nic asked, “Do you think he just told us to do this so we would get out of the way?”

“Don’t doubt it,” Sonny retorted, cleaning his gun.

“This is stupid. We should just go buy a turkey,” Shane suggested. “They won’t notice.”

“I think you both are just too chicken to stay out in the storm,” Sonny retorted.

“Don’t you mean too ‘turkey’?” Nic said elbowing Shane.

Shane just shook his head.

Disappointed that his pun was unappreciated, Nic stood up and grabbed the branch above him. “I could handle to storm all night if I wanted to. Do I really want to though is another question. And the answer to that question is no, I don’t want to.”

“Besides, Thanksgiving is tomorrow. We need to prepare the turkey before then,” Shane reminded.

Sonny sighed. “Whatever. Let’s just hurry up then.”

As they made their way back, they heard a rustling in the bushes. Convinced it was a Turkey, Nic ran after it; only to scare away a rabbit.

They continued walking and found many other creatures: squirrels, chipmunks, song birds, snakes, and a groundhog. Unfortunately, nothing that could take the place of a turkey.

Desperate not to go back empty handed, Nic continued making his turkey calls.

“Will you shut up!” Sonny barked after the incessant noises.

Just then, they heard a gobbling not too far away. Going over they found a whole family of turkeys.

Without hesitation, Sonny aimed his gun and shot one of the larger ones. Once its body dropped, he walked into the confused flock and picked up his bleeding prey.

Taken aback, Shane shouted, “Dude!”

“How come your natural voice attracts turkeys better than my actual turkey call?!” Nic interjected, agitated.

“That thing is crazy small,” Shane observed. “We should’ve followed them to find a bigger one.”

“Myles said to hunt a turkey,” Sonny retorted. “He never said how big.”

“He does have a point,” Nic said.

They brought it back to the barn to get it ready for the oven. Sonny placed the fowl on the chopping block and went to get an axe.

“Okay, so off with the feathers,” Nic said, reaching for the bird.

As he grabbed it, the turkey woke up and attacked his face.

Nic panicked and threw his arms everywhere. “Gah!” he screamed. “Get it off! Get it off!”

Wanting to help his friend, Shane tried to pry the turkey off. Instead, he ended up getting pecked himself.

Sonny came back with the axe in the midst of all the commotion. He didn’t help them or get help; he just stared.

After a few minutes of this chaotic struggle, the turkey was thrown off Nic’s face and ran to die with dignity someplace.

“Thanks for the help,” Shane said sarcastically as he wiped blood from his face; his own and the turkey’s.

“I found it amusing,” Sonny said smiling, which was a rare thing in itself. “I’ll go tell Myles to buy a turkey.”

threesome

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